WELCOME TO STANFORD! (now shotgun a beer)
(III) DRUNK TREE - the stanford university “mascot,” “the tree” (pardon the OD on quotes), was recently kicked out of the band for being WASTED at a stanford-cal basketball game. while the incident at the game was not the only offense leading up to the decision, it is the one that has garnered the most publicity, with mention on the radio, news stations, and espn.
WHY is this such a big deal? isn’t the point of going to sporting events for the college crowd to get drunk, rowdy, and make a lot of noise? you think there would be such thing as “homecourt advantage” if all the fans were sober? no, there would not.
have you seen the mascot? it’s a tree. it is going up against bears, trojans, sundevils, wildcats, huskies, bruins, etc. i mean all of these mascots’ real life equivalents urinate on stanford’s mascot everyday in the wild. probably even the duck. you’d HAVE to get me wasted in order to get into that costume. how else would you expect someone to have the intensity mascots are supposed to have…especially as a tree?
i’m sure ALL the other mascots at schools even more athletically hardcore than stanford are COMPLETELY sober. just look the other way - the school needs us. i mean, hell, if they let OSU basketball coach eddie sutton coach his team drunk on the sidelines for the past decade, the least they could do is let a mascot, much alone a tree mascot, have some fun.