too weeks two long
yeah, yeah, i know it’s “been awhile since i last rapped at ya,” not like that should be an excuse, so maybe i just wanted that last post on hippies to marinate for awhile. i’ve been getting everything from death threats to thank you cards for my multiple week hiatus. i’ll get back to some commentary soon, but in the meantime there are some things i need to deal with:
MODERATING COMMENTS
now most of the comments i get you all do not get to see because they are mostly from “generic first name” at gmail.com or something. they’re usually quite polite, you know saying that “they like my site” or “best site!” followed by about 50 url links to various “enhancing” medications. now i’ll take this as a sign that i’ve hit it bigtime or someone really is annoyed with me (perhaps a hippie or city worker). however, some comments are actually real, and some, a bit TOO real…
yes - my dad has discovered this site and resorted to talking trash via the open forum provided by the comment section. thanks, dad - i feel like the wizard of oz after toto blows his cover by unveiling the curtain at the end. “pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!” 
all of a sudden my omnipotence and ominousness (?) has been stripped. you know, like the tough kid in elementary school who steals lunch money and pile drives people into lockers that everyone’s afraid of until they see his mom grab him by the ear after school and chew him out to the point of tears. suddenly, he’s not so tough.
well, i know i probably don’t scare everyone (or anyone, for that matter), but hopefully i can recover from this. maybe my dad needs a livejournal.
30 SECONDS I WOULD HAVE RATHER SPENT GETTING ALL 6 HAIRS ON MY CHEST WAXED
seriously, over the past two weeks my precious time has been taken away by listening to conversations like this outside borders:
dude: thanks [i just held the door open for him and his lady]
lady: yeah, so i just can’t decide between the lexus l series blah blah (i forget the exact model). but sharon just got a new range rover and she really likes it, so there’s that…
dude: yeah, that sounds good [punches himself]
[we have parted ways at this point]
so, while these people are the centerpieces of an earlier post of mine, i really thought i was in some movie for a second. who actually talks like that? i guess people in palo alto - but hey, i’ve got a car for you - how about a LADA? plenty of room for your fur coat and vera wang (whatever THAT is, but i heard it once on the OC - it sounded expensive).
MOST RIDICULOUS FAUCET DESIGN EVER
i happen to arrive at this bar in SF the other night which could give any dive bar any of you have ever been to a run for its money. the lure of the shuffleboard table is what i think drew us there, and the smell is what drew us out. in any event, they had these bathrooms (more like closets), which had one of those sinks that had separate faucets for the hot and cold water.
ok.
i really don’t get how this is supposed to be practical in regulating temperature. you have to put your hands under the hot water until you get 2nd degree burns, then cool them off with the cold water until they’re numb, repeat? and somehow during this traumatic and stressful handwashing you have to use soap? if goldilocks saw this shit she’d FLIP.
now, i know these faucets exist, but i have only seen them in the context of really fancy/upscale establishments where elegance trumps practicality. this is understandable. but, by no means was this bar quintessential in high class. you’re more likely to get served a punch in the face than a martini and i think people were looking at my collared shirt funny like i went all “silver spoons” on them. my plea for them is to drop the act and get a real sink before SOMEONE GETS HURT.
May 8th, 2006 at 7:59 am
re: comment spam. Spam Karma plugin for wordpress does a bang up job at mitigating that bullshit.
May 8th, 2006 at 4:22 pm
Hey bud-
This post is OK, but you need to spend more time on this blog. From what your mom and I can tell, your research is worthless, so you might as well spend your effort on this blogging thing. I’m still not going to refer anyone to your site, though: it’s just too stupid, son.
I had a great BM this morning, 45-minutes long. You mom couldn’t come into the bathroom for several hours.
Be sure to call your brother soon.
Oh, I deposited a small check into your bank account with Bank of America, account number 058731433, routing number 4782135. I worte your SSN (856-98-2250) on the check. Let me know if it doesn’t show up on your balance.
Dad
May 8th, 2006 at 4:42 pm
Brother–hmm, the “dad” obviously doesn’t know you for jack shit! Or maybe I don’t for that matter!
May 8th, 2006 at 4:54 pm
don’t you have a laser to maintain, “dad?”
May 11th, 2006 at 1:12 pm
vera wang is not a ‘thing’… she is a notable fashion designer. did you call your brother yet?
May 11th, 2006 at 9:52 pm
in hopes of sounding somewhat gay, i would like to comment that often people, when referring to clothing, call them by their designer and thus transform the person’s name into a proper noun representing the clothing item. this can be done by using a simple article (ie. “the”). i cite the following CONCRETE example, taken from “the OC”:
juile cooper: marissa, are you going to wear the vera wang or the mark jacobs to the cohen’s party tonight?
marissa: i hate you mom.
May 24th, 2006 at 9:37 pm
what is proscar, mayde?
February 9th, 2009 at 5:57 pm
On the Subject of Faucets:
Errr, I believe the idea is you’re supposed to take the *plug* (miraculously visible in the picture since it’s not on the chain), put it in the drain and then *fill* the sink with the appropriate ratio of hot and cold water. (Wooo - result!)
As for being fancy and upscale … errr no … There was a time that all faucets (taps, whatever) were like this
Based on the particulary lovely pastel hue of the sink, I’d say that your bar simply hasn’t had it’s bathrooms redecorated since the 1950’s 