blogfaced.com

[note: this post based on the site’s former domain]

so one of the sweet perks of having a web site (besides VIP passes to clubs and an entourage) is being able to scope the stats - you know like how many hits/day, points per game, and most importantly, HOW people are finding your site. i would assume that many of you come here because you know the url or you’re being paid, etc.

BUT, there is a contingent of folks that have NO IDEA what they are getting into upon arriving to my site. and the reason i think this is because i can see the SEARCHPHRASE that one GOOGLES which leads one to sift through the search results and BAM! next thing they know they’re reading about bums, hippies and jamba juice.

as such, i thought i would give a little back to the reader(s) out there by putting out a few of these googled phrases that landed people to this site. this, of course, will be periodically updated as new genius phrases are googled. for thoroughness (and comedic effect), i’ve put the ranking of my site among the search results with the given phrase:

MOST GOOGLED TEEN SITCOM WASHUP

-”ac slater job interview” - um, i doubt he’s had one in awhile. thanks for the traffic, though. [7th hit, page 1]

not to be confused with another: “ac slater diary” - although if he had one, i’m sure it would go something like this: “today i spent 2 hours shaping my sweet mullet, then went to school and called zach morris “preppy” to which he turned into the camera all awkwardly and said “time-out” we’re all supposed to freeze when he does this, but it’s really difficult to do, even for the AC. just when things couldn’t get any worse, a fly landed on my nose and caused me to sneeze. i messed up the whole scene”

SOME HONORABLE MENTION…

-”i saw someone who stealing goods” - well, well, i guess we were trying to find the number for 911? or maybe hooked on phonics? [19th hit, 2nd page]

-”are there any johnny depp look alike contests anywhere?” - wow, someone has found their calling - now if only they could find a look alike contest. sorry, not here - looks like he’ll be waiting until october [2nd hit, page 1]

SOME HOW-TO

-”making a multiplication table from a paper plate” - woah, this one sidetracked me since i was really curious why a paper plate would be useful for making a multiplication table. it turns out, the plate is just a medium for practicing mulitplication, according to this site. i think my mom would flip if she saw me using paper plates for this bullshit. maybe we should teach geometry BEFORE multiplication so kids learn how to draw circles on looseleaf paper - this would serve the same purpose.

YOUR #1 SITE FOR ELEMENTARY SCHOOL BULLYING/RECESS TACTICS

-”charlie horsing” - ok. this one has caused me to reflect on just how different elementary school is NOW versus when there was no internet. i mean, instead of bullies learning how to do charliehorsing out on the streets/playgrounds, they just google it?! c’mon. i’m sure there are blogs on “how to avoid swirlies” and “the art of stealing lunch money.” the purity of the elementary school experience is at risk, people. kids nowadays aren’t public schooled or homeschooled. they are google-schooled. [#2, page 1]

-”elementary recess ethics” - yeah, i always forget (um, forgot) how to act outside during recess. am i allowed to run around and chase girls? or do the girls chase me? what do i do when someone says i have cooties? how many players are allowed to play kickball? is it wrong to help the smelly kid on the jungle gym just to impress a girl? [#2, page 1]

AND CUTTING EDGE RESEARCH…

-”bubble tea brain malfunction” - this one is great because my site is the NUMBER ONE hit returned. haha, whomever was looking for information on the dangers of bubble tea must have thought i really knew what i was talking about…i mean, if it’s number 1 it must have ALL the dirt on how slamming bubble tea gives you cancer. and i thought cellphones were bad. hope you found what you were looking for, erin brockovich. [NUMBER ONE HIT BABY!!]

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 9th, 2006 at 10:10 pm and is filed under entertainment, eureka!. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.